The last time something devastating happened, I had nobody to tell it to, or rather, share the pain with. Yes, I mean my brother and his wife are ever present and willing to be there at any given point in time (and so is beer). I confided in them. But I (don’t know if I was) was hoping for a friend. A girlfriend to be more specific, who’d understand my story word for word.
Until an old friend showed herself. I realised the importance of having a solid support system even if it meant having a handful of those close ones who will be there by your side no matter what. It does lessen the burden since they’re present to share your suffering or even offer a shoulder to tirelessly cry on.
Heartbreaks are omnipresent.
With a mind of their own, it’s almost like they’re looking for new targets all the time, and the minute they see something blossoming…time to aim and shoot. They see something that we don’t (or probably do but don’t admit to).
The heartbreak has to cater to no one, not even itself.
Then why does it come at a time when we least expect it? It’s the same with the feeling of “love”. What are these entities here to teach us? Have we not learned something that they must show themselves at our doorstep time and again? Or are they just a means of getting us closer to ourselves?
Someone once said that we keep getting our hearts broken because we haven’t learned something (and of course, this cannot be applied to 100% of the population, but to those who keep feeling like “why doesn’t it work out?” perhaps?).
Only time will tell.
That has been my favorite thing to say of late. Because it holds true. Only time will tell if you’re going to stick to what you said you’d do, if that fresh new feeling with another is going to evolve into something more or die down like a dead-too-soon flower in a vase. Only time will tell how you heal from a certain something, if you’ll become a more powerful person with respect to being resilient, or if you succumb under the heap of emotional trauma, if your relationship is going to pass non-stop multiple tests, if you’re going to stay loyal, hell(!), if you’ll even get married (I do feel a few of you disagreeing with me here, but that’s okay).
But then again, it’s so tricky because there’s no one variable in this equation. Time will have to be in tandem with efforts. But will efforts cut it? Maybe there needs to be another variable like a third party who’s helping in “aligning your stars”. But then, some people believe in “fate”. That even that third party was “meant to be”.
Oh, man. It’s a twisted maze.
Why heartbreaks?
Throughout all of this, without realizing it, the pillars I needed/wanted around me were building, albeit rather slowly. Now I do feel assured about the fact that I am not alone if bad/negativity strikes.
For the Reckless music video launch party, my two close friends from Bangalore (including the girlfriend already spoken about^) traveled down to be with me on my big (nervous) day. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Why do I write (songs and otherwise) about heartbreaks you ask? (Just like for a lot of you I suppose), it deeply impacts me. It has stretched me thin to the extent I’ve had to start from ground zero. Most of my learnings come from similar experiences (as is the case with some if not most of you I believe?). It has only bettered me in life. And here’s something I’ve realized over time:
It breaks you and then mends you, not just plainly but with a gold lining, making you all the more better for the newer experiences to come.
There is a silver lining. There has got to be. But it is only revealed in time, a lot of time. Time that can’t be skipped or meddled with, time that can’t be defined or anticipated even. But all this is what makes the journey that we call life.